#0 - April 5, 2007, 5:01 p.m.
Let's go back to a more innocent time, back in November of 2004.
World of Warcraft just launched, and I with some buddies decided to roll on the Illidan server. I decided to use the same name I'd been playing with through the beta for my shiny new Troll Hunter... Cyke.
Much was my excitement playing as Cyke until lo and behold, one day I log in to find my name mysteriously changed, myself with a 3 hour suspension and an e-mail saying I had broken a cardinal rule of the WoW universe and that I was in danger of having my dog poisoned by Mike Morhaime.
I petitioned to have my name reinstated to no avail, and others around me crumbled under the pressure of Blizzard [then] strictly enforced Naming Conventions. Most notably my good bud, Listerine, who I still play with today.
Imagine my excitement then, when I ran into a Cyke in a battleground. So with the help of the Armory I can find not one but 29 players currently going by Cyke (which is clearly pronounced Syke, so long as you've passed a remedial English class)
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=cyke&searchType=characters
Not only that but there are now 65 different Listerines in the game! http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=listerine&searchType=characters
Now wait a minute, you may be thinking to yourself, perhaps those fine players just haven't been reported to a GM yet. Au contraire, I say! I happen to have the distinct priviledge of having two mentally challenged friends who decided to select the lamest possible character names for their latest incarnations! I happen to mention this every time I have the unfortunate priviledge of needing to speak with a generally useless Game Master in game!
In fact, searching through the armory we can find:
68 dull witted players with the name Frankthetank
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=frankthetank&searchType=characters
Interestingly enough doing a search for just Frankthe produces 139 results!
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=frankthe&searchType=characters
Franktehtank yields 22!
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=frankteh&searchType=characters
"But hang on, Pepe, your name is as lame as they come," you may be ready to reply with...
That may be true, but it doesn't break the naming conventions...
Just so we're clear:
http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/?id=agm01722p
These are the categories under which names are inappropriate:
Q u o t e:
Racial/Ethnic/National
172 characters named Chinese*
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=chinese&searchType=characters
55 characters named Azn
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=chinese&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Extreme Sexuality/Violence
40 characters named Labia
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=labia&searchType=characters
45 characters named Tigolebitties
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=tigole&searchType=characters
41 characters named Nambla
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=nambla&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Sexual Orientation
89 Fruitcakes
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=fruitcake&searchType=characters
62 Fairys
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=fairy&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Obscene/Vulgar
54 Sineps
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=sinep&searchType=characters
95 Anigavs
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=anigav&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Harassing or Defamatory
97 Yousucks
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=yousuck&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Blizzard Employees
Blizz seems to do a STELLAR job w/ this one. Couldn't find one Mikemorhaime, Robpardo or Chrismetzen! Thanks for protecting us from those, Blizz!
Q u o t e:
Inappropriate
Yawn... see above
Q u o t e:
Advertising
...
Q u o t e:
Trademarks
81 Scopes
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=scope&searchType=characters
29 Microsoft*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=microsoft&searchType=characters
341 Googles
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=google&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Pure Gibberish
127 Asdfghs
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=asdfgh&searchType=characters
433 Qwertys
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=qwerty&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Leet or Dudespeak
39 Lollerskates
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=lollerskates&searchType=characters
173 Roflcopters
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=roflcopter&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Titles
659 Knight*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=knight&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Real World References
79 Parishilton*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=parishilton&searchType=characters
43 Tyrabanks
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=tyrabanks&searchType=characters
53 Keanureeves
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=keanureeves&searchType=characters
Q u o t e:
Partial or Complete Sentences
135 Johnthe*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=anigav&searchType=characters
178 Mikethe*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=mikethe&searchType=characters
42 Mikeis*s
http://armory.worldofwarcraft.com/#search.xml?searchQuery=mikeis&searchType=characters
Thanks for changing my name, Blizz! I hope this list helps with the [non]enforcement of your policy!
EDIT: ps. make a FFA server!
