#0 - Aug. 30, 2010, 6:44 p.m.
(The earth rumbles as Dalaran floats into the air. The surrounding council of mages clap joyously)
Modera: Awesome job, dude!
Krasus: You the man, Rhoni!
Cedric: There’s an angry mob outside!
(The council pokes over the nearest balcony to see a belligerent crowd of frazzled citizenry yelling up at the Violet Citadel)
Pie Vendor: What the hell did you crazy mages just do?!?!?
Meat Vendor: Where is my cat?! Has anyone seen my cat?!!?
Toy Vendor (clinging desperately to the cobblestones): I’m afraid of heights!
(The mages turn to Rhonin)
Cedric: Did anyone remember to tell the…ya know, general populace that we were going to do this?
(A unified wince forms across the faces of the council)
Rhonin: (clearing his throat) People of Dalaran! We are about to take on a great journey of just cause!
Cobbler: Mah boot’s about to take on a journey up your…
Merchant: Why would you do this, Rhonin? Trade was just about to pick up again! I have six shipments of melons that are supposed to arrive on Thursday. Where they going to deliver them? Huh? The giant gaping crater in the ground next to the forsaken internment camp??! Do you have any idea how much air freight costs??!!
Rhonin: Well, I mean…
Man in a bathrobe: My backyard and about two thirds of my bathroom are currently careening towards the earth below. I don’t know where you people think the city limits are but it was my understanding that Dalaran didn’t end midway through my shower!
Rhonin: Everyone calm down. This is a big change but it’s all for the best. You’ll be glad to know we are now heading into the frozen north to fight the lich king.
Commoner: What? You’re taking the whole city right to our enemy’s doorstep? Why?!?! We were safe here!
Farmer: I agree. I kind of thought we had a good thing going here what with being a good thousand miles away from the incredibly malevolent and powerful being that helped destroy our homeland in the first place.
Apprentice: Do you even have an exit strategy?
Rhonin: Well, no. I figured we’d just try to focus on killing the guy for the time being.
(The crowd unanimously groans)
Baker: We’re going to be there for the next three expansions!
Cook: Our alts will inherit this war!
Rhonin: It’s okay, we’re going to have plenty of protection. I’m letting the alliance chill out here.
(A few people stop grumbling and perk up.)
Rhonin:…as well as the horde.
Tailor: Boo!
Small Child: You idiot!
Barmaid: Why?!?!?!
Town Drunk: This is worse than the bubble!
(Rhonin sighs and turns back to face his fellow council men)
Modera: Maybe next time we’ll send a newsletter…
