#0 - March 10, 2010, 2:25 p.m.
ICE CROWN - A shocking report from a whistleblower within the Argent Crusade has revealed disturbing facts about the much-vaunted "Argent Tournament" and its major attraction the "Trial of the Crusader".
AN INTENTIONAL DEATH TRAP
"The place is a death-trap..." Our source (who wishes to remain anonymous) reports, "...And Tirion Fordring knows it."
Since the inception of the Argent Tournament, thousands of would-be heroes striving to fight against the Lich King have crossed beneath its banners, hoping to gain glory, prestige, and many of the powerful artifacts retained by the Argent Crusade and given as rewards to those who successfully overcome the Tournament's many challenges, including the much-renowned 'Trial of the Crusader' and 'Trial of the Grand Crusader'.
The designers of the Tournament and its Trials - including Tirion Fordring and his Argent Crusade - crafted the Tournament with the intent of producing the best of the best. By equipping the best heroes of Azeroth with the best tools, the Tournament was expected to create the best army capable of fighting against the forces of the Lich King.
However, according to this whistleblower, the entire endeavor may be for naught, as numerous problems with the concept and implementation of the tournament have arisen. Our source cites real, practical dangers in the policies enforced on the Argent Tournament grounds.
RATIONAL SECURITY DISASTER AREA
"Security is so bad that the Lich King himself could likely walk into the place, alone, unopposed, and break the entire facility - by himself!" Our source declares. "Furthermore, there have been documented instances where rogue demon-summoning, scourge incursions, and out-of-control beasts have caused serious injury and death to both Crusade and non-Crusade members." In many cases, the tournament staff is incapable of containing these breaches. "Most of the time, it is up to the participants themselves to accommodate for the Tournament keepers' gross negligence."
The dangers do not end there. Our source reports "Applicants to the Tournament are just as likely to be eaten, crushed, impaled, or slain by the Argent Crusade's own devices as they are to be eaten, crushed, impaled, or slain by the Scourge." Victims of the Tournament are reported to rival those of the actual Scourge. "We're losing good people, and they're dying by our own doing."
LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARES
According to the whistleblower's report, problems with the Tournament extend beyond safety, and into the institution itself. "Provisioning practices are extremely poor. Logistics are not even there. They put this place on top of a cliff at the opposite end of the continent from every major port, such that it is only reliably accessed by flight. This severely limits the kind of resources it can get by traditional means."
Most concerning to many applicants to the Tournament is the possibility of institutionalized mismanagement. Our source, "Even though the Argent Crusade is sitting on a nearly limitless stockpile of powerful, magic artifacts, their policies demand that they only distribute them in caches of two or three items at a time. Groups of 5, 10, and even more people enter the Trials of the Crusader, risking their lives for a chance at gaining the tools they need to defeat the Lich King... only to be denied by the Crusade's mismanaged rationing procedures, further compounded by poor infrastructure and lack of major supply chains. We've pitched our tents in a completely frozen quagmire, and our only possible exit strategy lies right through Ice Crown Citadel."
ETHICAL QUESTIONS ABOUND
Ethical issues with the Tournament have arisen, as well. A labor expert from Stormwind has chastised the Tournament's business practices, after reviewing the tournament grounds. "The entire place is staffed by one janitor and several dozen animated brooms. There isn't a custodian's union in Azeroth that would approve of such anti-labor practices!" In addition, professional architects from Ironforge have criticized the Arena grounds as being of shoddy build. "A good, solid jab from a stick could crack this entire floor apart." states one dwarven expert.
A movement exists to shut down the Tournament once and for all. Backed by a faction of druids within the Cenarion Circle and D.E.H.T.A., the group demands Fordring and his Argent Crusade "Close ARTMO Now".
"The Argent Tournament is an affront to all of nature." Svenhard Fungushorn, leader of the movement, proclaims. "They capture living, caring animals, take them from their native habitat, and force these poor creatures to fight, kill, and die for their appeasement. They put these animals on Trial, but they have committed no crimes!" The druids of D.E.H.T.A.'s 'Close ARTMO Now' movement have created a petition urging the Argent Crusade to end their tournament, asking every sentient and non-sentient creature with opposable thumbs sign it. In the interest of accessibility, creatures lacking opposable thumbs may apply their paw/appendage prints to a copy of the aforementioned petition.
RECRUITMENT TOOL FOR UNDEAD TERRORS
Perhaps the most troubling news is that the tournament itself is counter-productive to its original intentions. Instead of harming the Scourge, our source proclaims the tournament is actually benefiting them. "Enemies of the Crusade have used the Tournament grounds as a beacon of their attacks... It is the Scourge's best recruitment tool since Kel'Thuzad and Mal'Ganis brought the plague down upon of Lordaeron."
Even though the facilities are protected by a steady contingent of Argent Peacekeepers, our source states, "The place is a massive target for Scourge. Dozens, if not hundreds, of aspirants are captured or killed in the vicinity of the Tournament grounds every single day. We're starting to lose more people by accidental mishaps and active kidnappings than we ever lost in direct combat. Heroes are taken right from the grounds and killed or converted to serve the Lich King... This is a net loss."
IS IT WORTH IT?
Summarizing the Tournament's effectiveness in their report, the whistleblower issues their most damning statement yet. "This entire tournament is a grand, colossal failure and a monument to mortal stupidity... The fact that so many willingly risk their lives - and the lives of others - to participate and perpetuate the farce of these trials... is perhaps the most troubling thing of all."
Representatives for either the Argent Crusade or Sir Fordring have not yet responded to these allegations.
(Original report by AP - Azeroth Press)
