#87 - Jan. 7, 2011, 5:43 p.m.
01/06/2011 11:53 PMPosted by
Lodiss Just keep your cool and the cool people will recognize you as one of the cool ones.
I see this thread a lot too (and agree with the quote I put here), and I maintain that if you want change, you must be the change you want to happen.
If you want people to be patient with you, be patient with them.
If you want people to be courteous to you, be courteous to them.
If you want people to be helpful, be helpful yourself.
Even when you want something for yourself, be generous to others,(more often than not) they'll be generous in return. And if they aren't, don't sweat it.
You can choose to let the rude people get to you, or you can move on.
Here's a mostly opposite experience that I had from what others tend to report. (Yes, I am completely anonymous in game.)
The other day, I ran some dungeons (albeit normal ones) with a random group. At first we had a mage who didn't know what they were doing. The mage eventually left the group. No one yelled at them other than asking them if they knew what they needed to do. While people griped about them to the group, I mentioned that perhaps they were new or young and didn't know what they were doing.
We then went through a few different people in the group as we progressed. Some would leave quickly (for no apparent reason), one left because they needed to go do something else, and yet, the ones that stayed, were patient, they were helpful and even more interesting, they were supportive of me (a stranger) getting some nice upgrades to my gear even though it meant they weren't getting items to sell or disenchant.
When we finished the run, we queued for another one and though we went through a couple of other people, the "core" nice folks, stayed for as long as we could until other outside of game things came up for each of us.
Everyone has their own story. They may have had a bad day, another bad experience, they may have a headache, or they may just be a jerk. The thing is, they have no control over you or your experience unless you allow them to. Yeah, it may take up some of your time and it may take a few tries to find that one or two other people who you mesh with, but it's worth it in the end.
Our memories are sometimes very punishing to us. We remember the bad experiences far more than the good because the good are not traumatic or upsetting the way the bad ones are and leave less of an impression. It's how you choose to dwell on those bad memories that will shape your experiences.
If you want to evoke a better community, be a part of that better community.