If the WoW forums were an actual place

Sometimes it’s fun to visualize websites as being actual places you can walk in. I like to think of the WoW forums as a sprawling building with wings, courtyards, and meeting rooms for example.

General Forums: A room filled with picketers and angry protesters. A handful of people are desperately raising their hands and telling everyone to remain calm as the Blizzard gods have not forsaken them. A troll jumps in and yells “Blood Elves rule!” and a violent riot erupts. The people who actually enjoy the game step in then immediately turn around, desperate to hop on the next boat back to Azeroth.

WoW Getting Started: A shining and grand hall. Bright-eyed innocent new players step in and are greeted by smiling veterans, covered in armor more wild and fantastic than the naïve newcomers’ wildest dreams. Envision the jedi academy and Hogwarts combined.

Guild Relations and Recruitment: A big job fair. Numerous new lowbie guilds have small booths with free pens that nobody seems to pay notice to. The big raiding guilds have bouncers outside their exhibitions which tell people in tier 6 that they’re not on the list. There’s a bar and free shrimp.

PVP: You open the door and an axe flies out followed by sounds of crashing and fighting. You slam the door shut and back away.

Suggestions: A courtyard where one can see throngs of people standing on boxes and preaching such mad things as “crabs as a playable race!”. Onlookers crowd among these boxes with keen interest. Several cry “heresy!" at the preachers and throw fruit.

Tech Support: An infirmary filled with sick patients. Doctors dressed in blue scrubs rush about trying to assign treatment. A person donning a t-shirt marked “Linux” sits patiently while his doctor looks sadly at another physician and whispers, “There’s nothing we can do for him…prescribe morphine.”

World’s End Tavern: Pretty much as it sounds: A smoky, ale-laden tavern in the middle of the woods, filled with adventurers of all sorts looking to share stories and learn of the land’s lore. Every so often a naked mad man wearing nothing but a playstation 3 t-shirt jumps in and calls everyone freaks.

Class Forums: A series of adjacent rooms with different groups meeting in each. As you pass by the paladin room, you see a guest speaker discussing his latest book, “Seriously, We’re Pretty Friggin’ Awesome.” A Death Knight cuts a warrior at the vending machine line.

Off-Topic: There is a large heavy steel door at the far end of the hall. You push its icy surface open slowly and peer into the quite dark void. You take a step in and hear the moaning and screaming of the forsaken souls banished to this dark realm. Before you can run away, the floor collapses into a writhing mass of outstretched arms and hands that begin pulling you under. As the darkness surrounds your vision, you swear you can hear Cher playing in the background…

Of course I’m exaggerating some stuff here for the sake of humor. If anything the forums are fun and diverse webpages to visit and I enjoy posting and reading within them. Let’s just hope for the love of physical safety that it never becomes realized as an actual physical domain :)