The Cowards Guide to Dungeons and Raids

#0 - Jan. 18, 2010, 4:28 a.m.
Blizzard Post
Got no guild? Need to Pug yourself to gear and glory but don't want the endless repair bill from Stupid groups? then fear no more, for the cowards guide to raiding is here, detailing everything a coward should know, from an inevitable wipe, character types to look out for, to knowing what to do when Leroy's second cousin does a random charge at the boss. After Reading this guide you too will be able to give the Grim Reaper the two fingered salute when your ill advised raid Collapses.

Just as a warning, this page is fairly long, not entirely serious and not advisable to those with short attention spans

Table of contents

Choosing your Class
Hunter
Mage+downsides
Rogue
Druid
Paladin
The Priest
Shaman
Death Knight
Warriors/Warlocks

Characters to watch out for
The sacrifice
The Barometer
The Idiot
The Newly Leveled
The Elitist
The Superman and his sidekick
The Houdini
The alcoholic

Common Wipe scenarios and how to avoid them
The inevitable Meltdown
It was going so well.....
OMGWTFBBQ??!?!?
The second coming of Leroy

Useful Tools
Addons
Engineering
Your Common sense

Thanks and references


Step 1. Choosing your Class

Not every class is suitable for the quick escape when things turn ugly, obviously some are better than others so here's a quick rundown of who's the most reliable in saving you a few g's in repair bills. The most notable difference in classes is that only a few have the ability to completely dump aggro, meaning that in a sealed encounter, these are the only people likely to make it.

    The Hunter
The Kings of cowardice, with abilities such as feign death, misdirect and a pet ready to go on suicidal distraction attacks for you, raiders lucky enough to be this class are ready for anything, their mail gear gives them at least 1 hit's grace if they're a bit slow on the uptake and with the short cooldown feign death has, they can easily claim just to be aggro dumping if Superman and his sidekick (see below) step in and still be ready for another wipe scenario.

    The Mage
Coming at a close second to the Hunter is the Prince of Preparation (Be warned Illidan) Any mage worth their salt can drop everything and turn invisible at a moments notice. Spells such as mirror image or Ice Block can be critical in dropping the heat long enough to go invisible and make good your escape. Honourable mentions also include Frost Nova, Cone of Cold, Blast Wave and Dragon's Breath which can give you that one second you need to get outta there you need.

    Mage Downsides
Mages do have the shortcoming in being a squishy class, meaning they can generally only make a mistake once, making it a fine art in timing close combat spells such as cone of cold and Dragon's Breath. As well as this Invisibility has two main Disadvantages. The first being its time taken for it to come in to effect. This disadvantage can be reduced by Timely Ice blocks, Mirror Images frost Nova's ect. The second point is its 20 second lasting time. This means that for a mage to escape a wipe scenario means very careful timing in some areas. Alternatively a mage can simply use this time to leg it out of the Instance should the entrance be close enough

    The Rogue
A quick thinking rogue has many avenues of escape when the Meltdown occurs. A watchful rogue can stealth Before a wipe occurs if they pay attention to things such as a auto running target who's not watching where he's going, or if the tank pulls when the healers oom. In combat a rogue can simply vanish when the S**t hits the fan, if an untimely aoe foils this plot, feint, tricks of the trade and sprint can be used to leg it to safety, or give them enough time for your vanish CD to go and Step in to glorious Survival... at the expense of the poor sap you dumped your aggro on of course.
Downsides include the aforementioned AOE vulnerability and being a leather class, if evasion is on CD, they don't really have a hope if they're caught off gaurd.

    The Druid
In all talents and shapes, a druid can leg it quite well in all of them. Moonkins can create 3 walking pieces of Cannon Fodder with force of nature and can trap a single enemy with cyclone Feral Druids can Cower and Dash away from trouble and later use bear form to give them that last bit of survivability to the exit. The best thing about druids is that most of these abilities don't require speccing into them, notably dash/cyclone, so a quick thinking player can shift to suit the situation quite rapidly
Unfortunately Tank and healer specced Players of all classes, are considered the raid Sacrifice see below for the full definition but put simply, they ain't making it

    The Paladin
Like Druids, DPS Retridins are only Pally likely to make it out alive unless the tank or healer happen to be in a particularly Vindictive mood. Paladins have the advantage of being plate wearers, giving them that extra bit of survivability that may be crucial if a wipe scenario is suddenly sprung on you. They also have a variety of stuns to choose from should the need arise, and with Pursuit of Justice they have the highest chance of making it to the door alive. The Final Paladin Bonus is that they can escape certain Boss encounters which not even hunters can survive with the infamous Bubble-hearth Combo. Please note that this is only a viable option if the Group/Raid is truly that terrible that you want to escape them in such a manner.

    The Priest
Priests are a generally overlooked class when it comes to the quick escape, as they are mostly conscripted as healers, making a quick getaway quite difficult, however it can be done. Fade Temporarily reduced aggro by a massive amount, putting you bottom of the aggro table. Mind soothe will likewise reduce aggro, albeit not by as much. A Priest running away can also utilise Holy Nova if they want to fool people into thinking they're doing something, as it causes absolutely no aggro and heals at the same time

    The Shaman
Armed with mail gear, and a great number of snares, the shaman is quite capable of escaping a less than welcome situation. Earth-bind Totems, Timely Frost Shocks, Hexes, Thunderstorms and Feral Spirit Casts can also be your best friend when you run terrified from the homicidal hordes. Reincarnation, it should be noted, while not technically a way of avoiding death is quite useful if your sole reason for wanting to do so is a lack of inclination to run all the way back from the entrance.

    The Death Knight
Players who use this class have similar advantages to hunters and druids in the way they can send minions to go on suicidal charges in order to save their own skin. Coupled with their plate gear, non talented dmg reductions, and numerous frost Snares, they are equipped to coffin dodge on command

    Warlocks and Warriors
The most unfortunate classes in their way of being last in the line when speed boosts and snares were handed out.
warlocks have the advantage with a minion to sacrifice at their command, and a teleport spell that will suffice in certain situations.
Warriors have got their armour and defensive stance going for them, meaning that if necessary in heroics, they can avoid death by taking over tank duty.
Both have fear spells that can be used in a last ditch effort to save themselves, but apart from that, they don't really have much to boast about in the coward department. (why you would is a mystery admittedly, but the couldn't if they wanted to is my point)

    Characters to watch out for

In every raid there are different personalities, especially when pugging. Some of these can be pretty dangerous to the hopeful coward while some can, with a little luck, be used as human shields (or dwarf or gnome ect) to make good your escape.

    The Sacrifice
These unfortunate souls are the ones doomed to die when the wipe occurs. They are generally the Tanks and Healers, but some DPS in some raids feel honour bound to fight to the last in order to try and maximise the chance of getting a kill (because of course a single hunter can take down Hodir at 50%....) some of these can coincide as a Barometer (see below) These are by far the most useful player in a raid, as they are quite happy to maximise aggro while you dump yours, making your escape easier the more of these sorry fools there are.

    Barometer
These are the key raid Players without whom the raid cannot function. Generally these are the tanks and healers but in some situations, such as an enrage timer, DPS can be Barometers as well, as without sufficient numbers. They get their name due a barometer being able to predict Storms. In this Case, your raid wiping.

    The Idiot
These are the people who got living bomb cast on them all that time ago, and instantly charged the healers. The Nemesis of all Tanks and Healers, regardless of their raid position.God only knows how these people got to heroics let alone to raiding level. Perhaps their guild felt sorry for them and boosted them, giving them a false sense of confidence. Perhaps they E-Bayed and now you have to pay for that decision. Regardless these people do not know how to play their class, have know idea what a tactic is, and aggro control is as much of a mystery to them, as how they got their gear is to us. Their only useful role is to provide a Barometer effect should the leader be so foolish as to give them responsibility you know as well as they do that if there is a fire, they will stand in it. God Have mercy on you should one of these people be your tank or Healer.
#34 - Jan. 22, 2010, 8:10 p.m.
Blizzard Post
This thread gets a 'thumbs up' indeed! :)